Dear Mom;
May 30th
Just moved to Phoenix. Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings, what a place! I watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here...
June 14th
Really heating up, Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home. .Drive an air-conditioned car... What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants. Lots of cactus and rocks, what a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, But I love it here.
July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy today. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than expected.
July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work, what a dumb to do, I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol'sun in a climate like this.
July 20th
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now, $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman, I hate this stupid city.
Aug 8th
If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat.
Aug 9th
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts and sat on the black seats in the ol'car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smell like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. "Hot and sunny" "Hot and sunny" "Hot and sunny" It's been too hot for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1,700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this heat!
Aug14th
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, '' Hot enough for you today?'' My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live
here?
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