Friday, January 20, 2006

Still not back in the saddle full force

From what I've been reading from my Fat Fighting friends, things pretty much suck all over... and Arizona is not immune.

It seems that since 2006 began, I've been trying to get back into the "groove" and yet, just can't seem to get both feet to work together. This was a short week for work, and yet come Thursday, it felt like we'd been there for months already. The kids are cranky, I've been working really hard to get this respiratory bug that seems to have found me, despite my best efforts, my computer is on the blink (I am waiting to see smoke emanating from the CPU and the dreaded blue-screen-of-death at any moment) our kitchen lights went out, Christopher is not feeling well and cranky, and the dog has been on a devastation mode, the likes of which I have not seen ... Ever!

She ate the phone. Yes - a phone. Not entirely ingested, but most certainly destroyed. And, a CD case. And an ear-thermometer. Shoes I can understand. Eating the boys socks I can understand. A phone?? That one perplexes me. We've had to put the baby gates back up, poor girl! (actually, it is self-preservation for both the family and the dog!)

Ahhh - maybe next week will be better!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The visitors, they are a' comin....

We called Steve's parents this weekend to check in. When we first moved to Arizona, they came out from MN to stay with us and escape the cold. Years #1 and #2, they came and stayed for about three months. It was wonderful... but then their health situations prevented them from coming for another two years. Grandparent time is very special.. the boys LOVE going over to my mom's house for special time, and it hurt me that their special time with Steve's folks was not nearly as frequent as it had been.

Well, all the health issues have been addressed (including Greta having both hips replaced and Warren having successful cataract surgery) and they are on their way - leaving MN either today or tomorrow with the expectation of arriving this weekend. They plan to stay through March, and all of us are so excited it is hard to contain!

(for those newer readers, I posted a long time ago how easy it is having his parents here - they make for lovely houseguests and while 3 days is more than many in-laws can take, 3 months flys by!)

Tony & Cindy, Steve's cousins, will be arriving shortly as well. They visit yearly, but for business rather than pleasure - though it is quite pleasurable having time with them. They are horse trainers, so they come down for the Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show - big event with probably more than a few thousand horses. They have two kids right around the ages of ours, so the little ones have a blast, as well.

I am heading back to work today after a lovely 3-day weekend, with dread. Its not that I dislike my job. Its not that I dislike the kids, or really any particular part of my job - what I really dislike is being away from my own kids for so long. I start chalking up what we are paying for childcare, realize that it eats practically ALL my measly paycheck, and start getting resentful. I miss seeing Christopher and being there when the older boys come home. I don't like NOT knowing exactly when Chris slept or ate, or what made him laugh on any particular day. I miss sitting down with Parker to do his homework. I am missing so much - and don't feel like it is worth it. As God is my wittness, I will never work full time again!! (Sorry Scarlet!) I just miss too much...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Brain fart

We took down Christmas today. It seems odd to me that we decorate with such anticipation of the holiday to come, and then when its over, it seems we can't wait to reclaim our house. At least, that's how I feel. Growing up, we had a rule that the Christmas decorations could not come down until at least a date beyond my birthday. Often, things went up just around Thanksgiving, so by the time they came down, I think Mom had really had her fill. Suppose its the same with me.

The brain-fart reference is to this - as I was about 1/2 way through taking down the ornaments, it dawned on me that I did not take any pictures of our tree this year. It was a lovely tree, well balanced, and filled with ornaments that all tell stories (this one came from so-and-so, we got this one visiting such-a-place..) I am sad and a bit miffed at myself that I forgot to capture it on film... this was, after all, Christoper's first Christmas - no photos of him Christmas morning, or of the kids opening gifts... I guess everything about Christmas was a bit out of whack for us this year.

Maybe it was that Christmas felt more like a chore this year. Something we had to "get through". Having Steve's family here was wonderful, and really made this Christmas memorable for many more reasons than just "the first one without Dad". So that's all good, but maybe there was a bit more dread this year that I'd felt at a conscious level. Because it did feel like we were wading in mud to get the decorations up, trim the tree, and make the house festive. Maybe we just weren't feeling that festive... who knows.

At any rate, the tree of 05 will not be preserved for all eternity. The memories we have (and the photos Paula took!) will have to suffice for us remembering Chris's first Christmas.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Its been a week!

And then some. Let's recap, shall we? (warning, graffic information contained within that may qualify as TMI.. read at your own risk)

Monday - first day back at work after a much-too-short break. Battling a lovely yeast infection that really makes it comfortable to sit around a group of kids. Nobody's brain is functioning yet, including mine.

Tuesday - Its Matthew's birthday. I never have to go to school on my birthday, and in all liklihood Parker won't either, so I have huge pangs of guilt about sending my newly 5-yr old to school on his birthday. Went to Chuck E Cheese for his bday dinner (party to come later) and ate pizza that barked at me all night.

Wednesday - Christopher had been up 2x during the night, so not all bright eyed. Still suffering from the yeast infection. "Treatment" is not working. Parker takes a big tumble off his bike and scratches the begeezus out of his face, leaving a trail of blood all the way down the street. USC looses to Texas.

Thursday - Migraine. Went to work, yelled at a kid, went home at noon. Parker was forced to go to school because Mom had to go to work. He was afraid kids would laugh at him. Luckily, they didn't because I would have had to kill them. Noticing that I'm PMSing big time. Had to sleep migraine off... woke up feeling better, but now getting a cold.

Friday - yelled at same kid again for being an idiot. Yes, I know, I teach special ed, but this goes way beyong a learning disability and is just plain laziness. Pick up kids at after school care to have Parker be all pissy that I got there too early (wth??) Cold coming on full blast and I forgot my Airborne at home today so I feel icky. Parker's face is starting to show signs of normalcy.

Thank God its the weekend... If I had one more day I think I'd run away.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Its 2006!! Happy New Year!!!

I have the fortune (mis??) of today being my birthday. Makes it either impossible to forget, or to remember, depending on what one did the night before. I'm 37 today. Inching ever closer to 40. People always ask if you feel older on the day of your birthday. Other than having three rug-rats running around calling me Mommy, I don't feel any older or any different than I did when I was 16. Maybe that's a good thing - Maybe its not! My grandmother used to say that you are only as old as you feel, so there are days when I AM still only 16, and then others when I'm about 87.

I went to go watch the Rose Parade this morning. This is a tradition that started when I was in my infancy, as the Rose Parade always preceeded the Rose Bowl which, according to long standing tradition and my sense of Natural Law, is played today. Except the BCS got into the mix and the game is now on January 4th. Evidently, so is the parade. Pardon my french, but that sucks! Traditions are slowly being erroded and replaced by corporate sponsorship and innane commercialism. PacBell Park?? My big toe - Its Candlestick!! Soon, the Rose Bowl will be the Konica bowl and Fenway will be Nathans Hot Dog Sadium, or something like that... What ever happened to "if it ain't broke, dont' fix it!"?? And, what happens when these big corporate sponsors loose their corporate shirts and go out of business?? Yet another change.

This will be a rough month for fat-fighting - I can see it now... We start with Christmas and the barrage of cookies by the well meaning and extremely talented neighbors we have who bring wagons full of cookies. Then its my birthday, followed a mere 48 hours later by Matthew's birthday, then my mom's, then Matthew's party which we traditionally celebrate at the end of January to give party-goers a bit of a break between XMAS and Bday fun. I'm already up 1.5 lbs. Just maintaining till February 1st will be a good thing...

Presents and other such festivities will happen later today. Further blogging to commence once gifts have been opened!