Thursday, April 01, 2010

The new CPS...

My colleague and I have created a new acronym, in a world in which acronyms are already mind-numbing in their number...

Crappy Parent Syndrome

Here are some clues that your student or child may suffer from CPS...

1) Their diet consists of sugar and fat and chewing gum, and they bring copious amounts of both to school, daily, and eat it all day long.
2) Your child, at 13, is a bigot, and harasses students of different religions/color/nationality on a regular basis and you don't seem to care.
3) Your child has never had a consequence and freaks beyond all reason at the concept.
4) You are unaware that your 14 year old student cannot read.  At all.  Not a lick... C.A.T. is hard for them.
5) Your child chooses to do nothing during the school day, at all, and yet gets computer time, football practice, and all other 'perks' at home.
6) Your child has absolutely no sense of pride in his/her self because you, parent, have made it clear that you could not give a damn about them.
7) Your student lacks any and all respect for adults.
8) Your student has yet to turn in one homework assignment from the start of the year until now.

This could, in one way or another, describe nearly all of my students, and my colleagues' students, this year.

Again, I ask.. how much does a Barista make?


Sarah said...

You just made me feel awesome about myself! Not your intention? I know, I know. But thanks anyway! Here's hoping I can keep it up another 6 years to reach it to that 13-year-old attitude you are referring to.


Samantha said...

Well, I must admit, after seeing the overall "parenting" that abounds where I teach, I feel pretty darn good about my own parenting skills!