Sunday, January 08, 2006

Brain fart

We took down Christmas today. It seems odd to me that we decorate with such anticipation of the holiday to come, and then when its over, it seems we can't wait to reclaim our house. At least, that's how I feel. Growing up, we had a rule that the Christmas decorations could not come down until at least a date beyond my birthday. Often, things went up just around Thanksgiving, so by the time they came down, I think Mom had really had her fill. Suppose its the same with me.

The brain-fart reference is to this - as I was about 1/2 way through taking down the ornaments, it dawned on me that I did not take any pictures of our tree this year. It was a lovely tree, well balanced, and filled with ornaments that all tell stories (this one came from so-and-so, we got this one visiting such-a-place..) I am sad and a bit miffed at myself that I forgot to capture it on film... this was, after all, Christoper's first Christmas - no photos of him Christmas morning, or of the kids opening gifts... I guess everything about Christmas was a bit out of whack for us this year.

Maybe it was that Christmas felt more like a chore this year. Something we had to "get through". Having Steve's family here was wonderful, and really made this Christmas memorable for many more reasons than just "the first one without Dad". So that's all good, but maybe there was a bit more dread this year that I'd felt at a conscious level. Because it did feel like we were wading in mud to get the decorations up, trim the tree, and make the house festive. Maybe we just weren't feeling that festive... who knows.

At any rate, the tree of 05 will not be preserved for all eternity. The memories we have (and the photos Paula took!) will have to suffice for us remembering Chris's first Christmas.

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