I'm tired...

Consider yourself warned.

I feel as though all I am doing lately is complaining - perhaps not out loud, so it just festers and swirls around my head. Perhaps getting it down will make me feel better.

I'm tired of aching everywhere. My hips, legs, back, belly and general pelvic region ache constantly. No position is comfortable - to sit, sleep or stand.

My feet are unrecognizable. Seriously - we're long past puffy.. we've moved into gross! Thank God I kept this one pair of sandals that I got years ago from Aerosoles, because they are velcro thongs that I can make big enough to fit over my elephant feet. Of course, they leave 2" indentations when I try to take them off, but at least I can put something on my feet so that they don't melt and adhere to the pavement outside.

I can't sleep. No surprise there, but it's really getting to me. Between having to wake up JUST TO MOVE POSITIONS in bed, then I debate with myself - do I really need to pee right now, which is usually followed by "yeah - you do" so I haul my sorry butt out of bed and waddle to the bathroom, aching every inch of the way. But, just GETTING out of bed requires the strength of Hercules at this point... You try it - getting up without using your stomach muscles and having severe pain in your thighs when you try to lift a leg... Someone get me a crane!

I'm tired of feeling constantly queasy. Either I'm hungry, or I've eaten too much... There's no medium. Of course, my stomach is nestled somewhere just under my chin and mushed to be about the size of my thumb. Thank God for Zantac! And rolaids...

I'm tired of the heat, tired of my clothes, missing my shoes, and just want my body back. Any ideas on how to send this kid an eviction notice?? I mean, I'm glad he's comfy and cooking well and all that, but time's up kid - let's fly the coop already!

I seriously think those around me deserve a medal for not killing me or at least banishing me from the island... I don't even like me anymore...

WHAAAAA!!!

The good and the bad...

Another roller coaster day here. Steve was just not feeling well and since he has a big drive and a big close tomorrow in Tucson, we thought it prudent that he stay home and try to feel better. Good thing...

Mom called while we were at swimming lessons, wondering if I could get in touch with Fr. Jon - Dad was wanting to see him. Fr. Jon is on vacation until the 8th of August, so mom decided to call the hospice chaplain. Why all the rush for clergy? Well, evidently Dad is feeling that the end is close. Great - and I have two kids in the pool and am stuck.

I call Steve - get over there, see what's going on, try to offer some comfort. He does, God love him, and sits with Dad for the better part of 2 hours. They just talk, but during this talk Dad is saying that he's ready to go. He is at peace with his life, and whatever comes, comes... Can I just say that I am SO not ready to NOT have a father anymore? Even more, my kids are too young to not have a grandfather... On one hand, I am ready to let him go - and yet, on the other, this is my Daddy we're talking about - how can I not have my father around anymore?? He's always been my answer guy - the one who KNOWS things, nearly everthing.... If I had a dime for every time I've said "Ask Dad, he'll know..."

The Chaplain arrived around 1:30.

The original plan was for Dad to be Christened with Christopher when he's born. For all the times Dad's family spent in church, his parents never got around to having him Baptized.. He thought it would be cool to do this with his grandson - and we all agreed.

But then the reality came hard - what if our paths don't cross in this life? Realistically, Christopher can be Baptized the day he's born, but at this point, we don't know if Dad will be here - so Mom, Steve and I commandeered the Chaplain - Let's do it today! So today, at about 2pm, my 83 year old father was Christened. I'm sort of ambiguous as to the actual necessity of Baptism as far as getting into heaven, but honestly, I would rather have all bases covered and find out that its not a requirement, than the other way around!

Even though it was not as we had hoped and planned, Christopher was there - even though he did not have a speaking part. He kicked me in the ribs the whole time...

Speaking of Chris - went to see yet another new (to me) OB today - blood pressure is still normal (and that in itself is amazing), I'm starting to have more regular contractions (even if they are only prelabor) and we're moving closer to 2cm dialated. Even with that, the doc feels we're a good week or two away from meeting this kiddo... AND, even better, she does not feel he will be gargantuan baby like I'd feared! Wheeww! That's a relief! Honestly, I know women can make it through delivering babies close to 10 lbs, but if its all the same with you all, I'd rather NOT be one of them!

I feel like I am in a race against time. It is the strangest place to be - I am preparing to bring a life INTO the world, and preparing to watch one leave at the same time. I feel very strongly that these two souls are connected somehow. And I can't help but think that one life will be going out just as another is coming in. Its a very strange place, indeed.

I guess we're ready...

We went for our L&D tour last night at the hospital where I will deliver Christopher. Its a rather fancy-schmancy place, in comparison to the rooms at Alta Bates in Berkeley - take a look HERE and check out the LDRP room at SHEA. More like a hotel room than hospital room, huh??

My neighbors threw me a lovely shower on Saturday. It was the first time in ages that I'd been away from the boys for more than an hour... and as much as I adore them, that time away was HEAVENLY!!! You can see PICTURES here... A great time was had by all... thank you ladies for such a great afternoon!

Still having intermittant and haphazzard contractions. See the doc again tomorrow (a new one, again... Did I mentiont that my old doc just vanished? Well, he has, and so now his patients are ping-ponging around the rest of the docs.) and with any luck we will have made a bit more progress toward meeting our newest child!

But, I think we're ready - got the nursery all set up, had the tour of Labor & Delivery, have a car seat, a stroller, and now a swing... bottles, diapers, onesies, pacifiers - everything but a baby...

The countdown begins...

Well, as of today, I am 36 weeks, 5 days pregnant. For a more accurate account, keep an eye on the ticker below.. it will change daily. At any rate, I'm well into my 9th month...



Its amazing how the body adapts. Although I feel very old at times, and swollen like you wouldn't believe (my feet look like alien feet - I am relagated to wearing flip flops because nothing else, not even my Birks, fit!)

I've been having intermittant contractions nightly for the last three nights. Hopefully they are actually DOING something other than just annoying me. I got excited the other night, having some very 5 minutes for nearly an hour. Then they stopped. Bummer!

I am hoping he's dropped a bit, and thinking that this may be the case because the hearburn has not been as bad of late. Still needing my Zantac regularly, but had been also needing Rolaids chasers to keep my tummy comfy, and have not had to take any of those in a while.

The boys, and my dad, are extremely excited about the arrival of Christopher. Parker is asking almost daily, "When is he going to be here"??

Peanut - I'd like the answer to that myself!!!

99 things about Parker, my July 99'er

99 things about Parker… in celebration of his 6th birthday.
1. His whole name is Charles Parker Jensen
2. He is named after MY father.. Charles is a family tradition
3. His due date was July 4th,
4. He was to be born one year to the DAY that my grandmother died.
5. He missed that mark – came 2 days later.
6. I swear sometimes he is my grandmother reincarnated.
7. He is my first born son.
8. He is exactly like Steve in many ways.
9. He’s a perfectionist.
10. He is very soft hearted.
11. He is extremely kind and gentle with me!
12. He can ride a two-wheeler.
13. He can swim almost 50 yrds freestyle!!
14. Today, he swam 25 yrds of Butterfly!! (I can’t even do that!)
15. He adores his brother.
16. He can go from loving Matthew to wanting him dead and gone in about ¼ second!
17. He gets himself dressed and clothes put in the hamper.
18. He cannot tie his shoes, but keeps on trying!
19. He can add anything – including regrouping.
20. He can subtract with borrowing.
21. He wants to learn multiplication.
22. He did not inherit this love of math from either of his parents!
23. He weighs 56.5 pounds.
24. He is officially too tall to play on the play structure at Burger King (48” is the max)
25. He wears a size 6-8 in clothes and a size 4 shoe.
26. That’s BOYS 4!!!
27. God help me if he grows into those feet! At least I can always hear him coming!
28. His favorite color is green.
29. His favorite sport is basketball (after his dad!)
30. He is extremely good at swimming.
31. He’s had lessons daily at our city pool this summer.
32. He’s also been taking tennis lessons this summer.
33. He took Karate during the school year and earned a white-belt-purple-stripe.
34. He can throw and catch like no one’s business!
35. He clearly did not inherit my lack of any athletic talent whatsoever!
36. He is very excited that there’s a baby growing in mommy’s tummy.
37. He is unusually interested in my breasts and why he does not have them too… (ugh!)
38. He makes his bed and cleans his room. (Not daily, but when asked or when my mother is coming over!)
39. He finished his thank you notes from his birthday without me hounding him for weeks and weeks! (Another trait he could have inherited from me!)
40. He is tremendously excited to go to first grade.
41. He is angry that Matthew cannot go with him!
42. He still cries when he is frustrated.
43. He is getting demanding and whiney.
44. He has the most amazingly acute vision, and from the car window can see planes that are 7 miles high!
45. He knows every make of truck out there, and just about every car.
46. He will tell you his dream car is either a Ford F350 Douley, or a Hummer.
47. I have no idea where he gets his taste in cars!
48. He’s had this obsession with moving vehicles for about 1 ½ years now.
49. He is surprisingly competitive.
50. He is mot competitive with himself.
51. He loves to win.
52. He can be a spoiled sport if we let him.
53. He asks very astute questions about life.
54. He is interested in Bible stories.
55. He gets mad at us if we don’t go to church!
56. He is loyal to his friends!
57. He will tell you that his best friend is Andrew, and they share the same birthday.
58. He has not been around Andrew for nearly a year now.
59. He will remember the smallest details of things I would have sworn he’d forgotten!
60. He swears that he remembers being in the womb, and did not want to come out on the 4th of July because all the fireworks would scare him!
61. He is very independent.
62. He can get himself a bowl of cereal in the morning and a glass of juice.
63. He will NOT spill a drop, even with a full gallon of milk!
64. He has lost three teeth, two on bottom, one on top.
65. The bottom teeth are coming in.
66. He looks very strange to me, still, with his upper tooth missing!
67. He needs a haircut!
68. He may just end up with David Letterman hair – can’t do a thing with it!
69. His new idol/mentor is a lifeguard at our city pool with the same name of Parker.
70. He is very trusting and will (rather rudely) come and drink from whatever container is in front of Steve or me.
71. He loves to snuggle.
72. He loves to play teacher for his brother.
73. He has Matthew up to 8th grade in the “Parker Academy”
74. He loves Looney Toons and Bugs Bunny.
75. He will still watch Barney if its on…
76. He thinks the “S” word is STUPID and will tattle on anyone who uses that word, even me!
77. He loves to sing and make music on our Clavinova.
78. He can carry neither a tune nor a beat!!!
79. He tells me that I am beautiful and wonderful and the best mom he’s ever had!
80. He talks to his little brother in utero.
81. He is mad that we are not naming the new baby Mark.
82. He likes to take pictures.
83. He took an entire roll of pictures of his feet.
84. He remembers our trips to places like Florida and DC and will describe details from both trips.
85. His favorite part of our trip to DC was seeing Ford’s Theatre.
86. He knows that John Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln.
87. He says JWB was a bad man.
88. He won’t let me kill bugs in his presence because I might be taking away a family member.
89. He believes very strongly that all creatures have the bond of family that we do.
90. He loves the show Zoom.
91. He makes up Fannee Doolee’s daily.
92. He wants to help me cook.
93. He wants to “babysit’ for the puppy.
94. He knows his grandfather is dying.
95. He loves to make up stories.
96. He writes them all down on paper.
97. He draws the illustrations, too.
98. He is the one that showed me that there is no love greater than that for your child
99. He makes me thankful every day he’s here that I get to be his Mom!