Roots

I was struck by something tonight while attending Parker's strings concert at the boys' elementary school. The idea of roots came rushing at me as I sat in front of a family who we've known through schools of one sort or another for a while now. The Walshes were at the preschool we went to. Their daughter, Allie, and Parker have been in the same class a few times. I'm thinking this in a very general sense, without much pondering really, when BLAMO... it hits me..

Christopher is off behind the audience playing with Allie's little sister. Chris is pushing his way toward his 4th birthday, and Allie's sister is 4 1/2. Parker and Allie were in the same preschool class when they were the age their little siblings are NOW.. WOW.. here are these two preschoolers running around with their nearly 10 yr old siblings, which means that, for all intents and purposes, Allie has been part of Parker's life for as long as he can remember.

Matthew was running around the cafeteria during the performance, entrenched with other students he knew from school. At one point, he siddled up next to his Principal, who is aptly named Dr. Root, and had a quiet conversation. She thanked him for stopping by to say hello. She knows his name.

Steve and I waved and nodded at faces familiar to us either from preschool, or school events, or baseball, or really from anywhere. My initial feeling of "we don't know anyone" is clearly replaced by a sense of familiarity as I see face after face.

In a different setting, but on the same topic, I think about my work. I've been at my school for 7 years now. The school's doors have been open only for 8 years. I was a counselor at the school for my first 2 years there, and have been a teacher for the last 5. And for most of those 5 I've been threatening that I am going to leave. It's a crazy place to work; folks bicker and snipe at each other, our administration leaves a few things to be desired, the parents are their own breed of crazy... and yet, year after year, I stay.

Except for, perhaps, this coming year, it looks as though I will make good on my threat to leave. It's a long story, but I have myself slated at another middle school for next year. And now I have the arduous task of not only packing up my room, and saying goodbye to the people I work with day in and day out, but also then reestablishing roots somewhere else. For as crazy and insane and infuriating as my current school is (and it is all those things, and more, I know) the idea of leaving is suddenly not so attractive. Now that I know I am most likely jumping ship, perhaps the turbulence is not so bad.

I must admit, this has been an odd awakening for me. I don't feel grounded here in the desert. I have never felt grounded here, and quite frankly, am not sure I really WANT to be grounded here. I still feel quite strongly that my roots are back in Connecticut. I struggle with the pull and desire to get back there again, back to where I feel I have my footing and MY roots. And yet, somehow, without really meaning to, we have planted and nurtured roots here. My kids have them. Friends they have known nearly their whole lives surround them on a daily basis. Without meaning to, we, the adults, have become entrenched with those roots as well.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

Life here is a flurry of frenetic activity trying to get ready for the end of school. Nearly every night between now and the end of May has some culminating activity for either a boy or for me.

Please pardon the lack of updates as we wind down this crazy year. Know we are all happy, healthy and hot as the temps here in AZ top 100*. More consistent blogging will resume once school is out.

Until then, keep reading my Tweets in the Twitter feed off to the right... at least if anything earth shattering happens, it will be posted there!

Or, come visit the photography blog if you are just dying for a daily dose of the Jensen clan.

Pat's run and beyond

I ran in a 4.2 mile race last Saturday. Longest race so far, and I felt a bit nervous about it. I can consistently complete 3 miles, but would that extra 1.2 kill me?

Nah.. the distance was fine. It was the HILL in the middle of the race that nearly did me in!! I train on flat ground - Scottsdale is not known for being of hilly terrain, however, Tempe is, and Tempe was where we ran. So, that meant I had to walk mile 2. Because nearly ALL of mile 2 was uphill. And not a slight grade either, but UPhill. I assumed I would have to walk, so thought a 13min mile was a decent expectation, meaning I would finish in about 54 minutes. My chip time was 53:14, so I made my goal.

Then I ran the next day. Felt ok. Could barely walk on Monday, but hey..

Then I took 2 days off. And I think I caught a bit of a flu because I felt more or less like holy hell for much of the week.

Ran Wednesday. Realized about 1/2 the way through my run that running at all was a mistake. Was reminded all day that yes, running was a mistake. Bed before 9pm that night, slept through till after 6am the next day.

So, today was the first day I felt I had my Mojo back, and I ran a 5K. Felt good.. thought my time was better, but I will take what I get. And what I got was about 36 minutes to myself without someone asking me for something, screaming at someone else, or needing my input on anything. So, 5K in 36:20. Yeah.. certainly won't be breaking any land-speed records with that time, but what the heck, I am getting out there!

A not-so-good day

Yin and Yang, right?

It was not horrible or terrible, or even very bad... just not so good. I've been fighting what is either exhaustion or a mild stomach bug that has bogged me down for the last few days. Running was icky, painful and as if through mud. My overall outlook and likely my demeanor needed a bit of tweaking... and it was topped off by a not-clean-bill-of-health from the dr (tho, again, nothing terrible or horrible) and NOT getting the Language Arts job I not only wanted, but am also quite qualified for.

To assuage fears, the doc found a heart murmur that was not there before and I have some skin things that need to be looked at.. Guess after 40 it really IS patch, patch, patch!!

So now I need to decide what it is I want to do with myself next year. I've made the promise that I would NOT return to my current school year after year, and year after year, I show back up in August to the same frustrating situation I'd left the previous May. I do think it is time for a change. The change I wanted was to leave Special Education (Been here 5 years and am burned out) and move to the 'civilian sector' of education. Alas, that does not seem to be in the cards for me next year. (I'm starting to get good a living with disappointment) Now my question that requires an answer is.. WHERE TO GO. I know I cannot teach, do not want to teach, and would be horrible at teaching elementary school. I really enjoy middle school. I wonder if I would be any good at high school.

There are two openings at the high school that is practically in my back yard. I am going to leave my options open at this point and see what turns up.. plant a few seeds here, a few there.. see if anything grows. It's not like I am OUT of a job for next year, and for that I am grateful, but for my professional growth and my own personal sanity, I need to find something new... What lies beyond the bend in the road could be very interesting...

A good day

Today was just one of those days when the planets align and everything seems to run smoothly. I finally got a good night's sleep (and that always starts the day off well) and then had a really good run! The weather was perfect - clear, about 55* with the sun starting to come up. Running was easy and I went further than I planned to and it felt GREAT. Coffee was good, caffeine worked like a charm, I had a good day of teaching, the kids and I both had fun (a rare thing indeed.. ok, maybe not, but it is nice when it happens) and by the time I got home, I was pleasantly exhausted. Took a nap, had take out for dinner, and the kids' fighting has been kept to a minimum.

Need to document days like this to remind myself that they DO happen. Perhaps not too frequently, but they DO happen!!